


Words

by bandgrad2008



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandgrad2008/pseuds/bandgrad2008
Summary: She never said those words to you.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Words

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FFnet October 16, 2012.

_I'll fight for you. I'll wait for you. I love you. Always._

You'd said it all before. No one would believe that you would ever say those words, that you would even give the slightest ounce of compassion, after everything you'd been through in your life. But you did. You said those words and they still float through your mind, reminding you that you're not entirely heartless. No, you're not the heartless one, no matter what harmful words come from your mouth, or your careless actions.

You had said those words more than once, but you hadn't meant them…at least not until _she_ walked into your life. You had let yourself believe that you were in love before, that you loved other people, and yeah, you may have loved other people, but she was the first that you had allowed yourself to completely fall for.

Okay, maybe you had loved Daniel, or at least you told yourself you did for years of your life. You were sure you weren't lying; it was just the wrong kind of love. And you knew it, but you didn't want to accept it. You held your mother—no, you held Snow—responsible for his death. You turned into this witch of a woman, cold and cruel, and you took out your anger on everyone who dared to step in your path, whether it was intentional or not.

You'd even wanted _her_ killed when she was born.

But things didn't work out the way you wanted them to. Snow and Charming had succeeded in protecting Emma from your curse, sending her to the very world you sent your own kingdom. And how did you not foresee that she would eventually come to be within your grasp and yet…You still couldn't touch her.

You tried everything to destroy her, to rid her from your life, and to prevent her from ending the curse. But you failed. And what's worse is that she managed to break past your walls and infect you, digging deep into your chest like a parasite. She haunted you like an incurable disease, weakened you like a cancer, but you're fighting. You're fighting her contagion, but you're failing miserably.

Your heart was the first to crack; she held it in her hand as you had done to many in your lifetime, and she crushed it, the beating organ disintegrating into nothing but sand. You were no longer in control, forced to fall before her, wishing you were dead.

But you needed to suffer. You needed to feel the pain searing through your empty soul, crushing your lungs whenever you felt strong enough to take a breath. She was everywhere; in your head, in your soul, all around you. You couldn't escape her grasp; you couldn't defeat her. And you couldn't run, you couldn't hide.

If only things had gone the way you planned. That wretched child would have died, as according to your wishes, and none of this would have happened. You would, quite possibly, still be in control of everything. However, there was no way this could be avoided. Just as there is a happy ending to every true fairy tale, there is a fate to be followed. And yours just happens to be the very golden string amongst the silver, the savior.

Which is why you're sitting at your desk in the office of your very empty mayoral mansion.

Well, it's part of the reason. With Henry gone and most of the town wanting your head and heart on a silver platter, the only thing keeping you here is the very thing you want away from the most. But you can't decide; after every second of torture you've had to endure since her arrival, you don't know what is safer for you.

The doorbell echoes through the emptiness and you jump, more out of fear than surprise. You're sure it's an angry dwarf wishing your head, but when you actually hold your breath and open the door, your alleged, nonexistent heart skips a beat for a completely different reason. And it takes everything you have not to slam the door shut and panic.

"We need to talk." You can only nod, your throat constricted by the invisible fist in which it's grasped, and she steps forward, forcing you backward a step. Closing the door behind her, determined eyes never leave yours and you're afraid, though your mask is in place. Your cold-hearted facade hides your fear, the building impulse to throw her against the wall and act on every strand of emotion you've been strung on since she first showed up on your doorstep with Henry.

You wonder why she's here now, what she wants to talk about, but there's a nagging voice in the back of your head that hints that you know. "What do we need to talk about?" you ask, eyes narrowed. You've always been perfect at hiding your true feelings, your motives, but now you're faltering.

"Half of the town wants you dead and the other half is preventing your death because we know that killing you isn't a solution." You assume she's included in the aforementioned 'we'. "One of the only reasons you're even in this town right now is because of Henry."

Something flickers in her eyes and you wonder what other reasons are allowing you to remain here. "And which side are you on, Sheriff?"

She rolls her eyes at your use of her position, but the corners of her mouth twitch, drawing your eyes to the movement. When your attention is returned to her eyes, you realize her eyes had copied yours. But as much as you desire so badly to pull her close to you and claim her for yourself, you refrain from doing so. "You may not be an easy person to deal with, but there's no valid reason to kill you."

"There isn't a reason not to kill me," you mutter, and you know she's heard you when she sighs. "You know it's true, dear. You've heard the stories; you know of the evil I've done, the lives I've ruined. In fact, you're standing in the middle of my curse. Why shouldn't anyone go through with their wish to kill me?"

"Because no matter what you've done, you're still human."

You narrow your eyes at her statement and honestly, you don't believe the words. Emma may have the gift of spotting a liar, but fortunately you do as well, and you know there's something else. You speak before the thought is completely formed in your mind. "You don't seem to believe that." She raises a brow and you smirk. "That I'm human. You don't think it's true."

Emma shakes her head. "I never said that you weren't, nor do I believe you're not. I think that you _are_ human, no better and no less than anyone else in the world." A month ago, you would have raised a question of her confidence, how she could possibly speak to you in such a way. But now...you find it strangely comforting. At least there is still courage in this land.

Your mind decides to spiral, a disorient pattern of doubt and uncertainty echoing as you avert your eyes, an unfamiliar twisting and churning in the pit of your stomach, and you're uncomfortable. And suddenly, grabbing Emma and doing unspeakable things to her body—and to her mind, if you think about it—seems like a very possible action at the moment. As though she can read your mind, she shakes her head and looks away, and before you have a chance to blink, your back crashes into the wall with a thud, hands fisting the upper front of your blouse. You're winded by the motion, barely able to refill your abruptly empty lungs before her lips steal yours, her body boldly pressing against yours, pinning you, holding you captive.

Your hands move of their own accord, seeking a resting place, but they're slapped away so effortlessly that you're caught off-guard and your hands are pinned on either side of your head. She pulls away, her own lungs empty, and cold eyes lock with yours. You're frozen in place; you've never seen Emma like this, a shell radiating with control and power that makes even you jealous, and the thoughts you have dammed in the back of your mind break through, striking fear through you.

The blonde shakes her head, releasing a nervous chuckle. "No. No, I can't do this, Regina."

"We've done this hundreds of times, Emma. Why is it different this time?" And you're angry and attempting to reject the fact that this is your fault, that you _did_ turn her against you. She only shakes her head and releases your hands, only for you to cup her face and bring her lips to yours forcefully. Because you don't understand how or why she could just turn her back on you like this and pretend that there has never been anything between you, that she doesn't feel the exact same way that you feel now.

But as she pulls away from you and leaves your home, leaving you alone and confused, you realize that no matter how many times you've told her how you've actually felt, that you would fight for her every time she walked away from you…

She never once spoke those words to you.


End file.
